In school, we never got to take any courses on working with difficult feelings like emptiness, hopelessness, sadness, and "wrongness." We didn't get taught anything about thriving emotionally. Many of us as a result suffer from depressive feelings that can last for weeks or months.
If you are feeling depression symptoms, the natural reaction is to try to suppress or repress or avoid them. Nobody wants to feel deficient, not good enough, empty and meaningless. So we try to suppress or avoid these feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
The first way is to anesthetize, which is to use drugs or eat too much. The second way is to Project. This means to kick the dog, attack others, blast our bad feelings to all around us. The third way is to Channel Change, which is to go for a walk, watch television, call a friend, etc.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting or Acting Out also works for a short time. When we kick the dog or throw a lamp or snap at a coworker, we feel better, it seems like the emotion is out there instead of inside us. But again, such projection works only for a little while, it doesnt actually resolve the issue, and it tends to damage our relationships.
A healthier way to deal with negative feelings is to Change the Channel. Each one of us must learn to manage our mood swings, or we can end up overwrought and overstressed. So if we feel bad and go to a movie or go for a run, we lift our mood without doing any damage. Changing the channel on negative emotions is a good thing to learn how to do more efficiently.
However, changing the channel doesnt resolve the issue. If we feel sad and go visit a friend, when we return home the sadness might return also. The problem with all three ways of dealing with difficult emotions is that oftentimes the emotion we are trying to deal with comes back. Sure, you can deal with feelings of despondency by going to the bar and drinking, but the next morning with a hangover the feeling might come back with a vengeance.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall. - 16004
If you are feeling depression symptoms, the natural reaction is to try to suppress or repress or avoid them. Nobody wants to feel deficient, not good enough, empty and meaningless. So we try to suppress or avoid these feelings.
For the reason that we have never developed and learned basic emotional intelligence, the manner in which we try to avoid or resist negative feelings does not work. There are really only three basic means we all use to try to resist our bad feelings:
The first way is to anesthetize, which is to use drugs or eat too much. The second way is to Project. This means to kick the dog, attack others, blast our bad feelings to all around us. The third way is to Channel Change, which is to go for a walk, watch television, call a friend, etc.
If you are feeling bad about yourself and you eat enough donuts and cake, you go into a sugar coma where you basically dont feel anything. Anesthetizing works, but only for a short time and it obviously can damage our health.
Projecting or Acting Out also works for a short time. When we kick the dog or throw a lamp or snap at a coworker, we feel better, it seems like the emotion is out there instead of inside us. But again, such projection works only for a little while, it doesnt actually resolve the issue, and it tends to damage our relationships.
A healthier way to deal with negative feelings is to Change the Channel. Each one of us must learn to manage our mood swings, or we can end up overwrought and overstressed. So if we feel bad and go to a movie or go for a run, we lift our mood without doing any damage. Changing the channel on negative emotions is a good thing to learn how to do more efficiently.
However, changing the channel doesnt resolve the issue. If we feel sad and go visit a friend, when we return home the sadness might return also. The problem with all three ways of dealing with difficult emotions is that oftentimes the emotion we are trying to deal with comes back. Sure, you can deal with feelings of despondency by going to the bar and drinking, but the next morning with a hangover the feeling might come back with a vengeance.
There are some other approaches to working with difficult feelings that can provide more long lasting relief - and some help for depression as well. One method is to explore how a difficult emotion feels in your body for five minutes before you change the channel. It's simple to do once you learn how, and five minutes a day of exploring rather than resisting bad feelings can help us begin to feel better overall. - 16004
About the Author:
You can learn more ways to get help with depression in the book about Heal Depression Naturally In Just Minutes A Day. John Stephan Laney teaches emotional skillsand you can learn more at Natural Depression Help. Many types of depression can be healed without drugs or pyschotherapy.
